What’s the Problem with Sex?

Lets be honest, I’m 21 and still a virgin. In fact I am waiting until marriage. But I’m not going to write about my religious or personal beliefs about sex. I am going to write about something that has been on mind lately.

I realized people are afraid to talk about sex and, yet we live in a over sexualized society. People don’t mind making fun of sex. Makin jokes about it but we can’t talk about it.

People act like only guys think about sex. “Men are visual creatures” they say. What about woman? Coming from a woman, I’m going to tell you guys this. Women are visual creatures too. I don’t know if men are more visual than women but that is the most stupidest quote I ever heard.

Some people think that is the reason why girls and, women should dress modestly. A man will look at you even if you do dress modestly. I am not against advocating modesty but if you dress modestly to get a man not to notice you sexually, it’s not going to work.

What my question ball down to “What’s the problem with sex?”

Society tells you if you don’t have sex until marriage or because you just don’t want to, you’re a prude. If you do have sex before marriage, they call you a slut. These statements are a real big contradiction. So what if someone wants to wait until marriage? If they don’t wait until their marriage that is their choice.

Even when a woman is married the still feel ashamed to have sex because that is what society tell her. Sex is bad. Sex is dirty. Society tell her sex is only something that men want and, need.

In popular music, instead of talking about how sex is a tender moment between two lovers, they play song like “Blurred Lines” by Robin Thicke that talk about sex as a dirty, and selfish act.

Because society tells women that sex is something that men want and, need. We have feminist saying if a woman has sex before marriage they are liberated.

Proof of that “A liberated woman who has sex before marriage and, a job after.” Gloria Steinman. So now if you wait until marriage you are not liberated or a feminist. There are so many things wrong with this quote

Another thing it is becoming abnormal to be a virgin at 21. Don’t get me wrong teenagers have been having sex since the beginning of time but this is 2014. We live longer now and, it is so abnormal to be a virgin at 21 years old. You are still young when you are 21. You have plenty of time to have sex. What is wrong with this society where it is the end of the world to be a 21 year old virgin?

Parents expect their teenagers to wait to have sex until they are adults but they don’t want to talk about sex to their kids. There are statistics saying the more often you talk to your children about sex, they will most likely wait longer. Seriously parents talk to your teens about sex and, healthy relationships. Please I beg you.

We expect too much out of sex. People say “You shouldn’t wait until marriage to have sex. You have to take that baby out for a test drive.” Look sex isn’t a car. My body isn’t a car. Your body isn’t a car. Do not compare sex with cars. You are just going to break up because the sex isn’t good enough? What since does that make?

People think if you wait until marriage to have sex, it will be some kind of magical night. It would be so wonderful and, special. Depends on your perception it could be wonderful and, special. That does not mean it won’t be awkward. It probably won’t be magical. Actually that depends on your perception too. My point is people expect too much. You don’t have to test out that “car” before you are married, but you shouldn’t have unrealistic expectations about sex either.

Sex is a personal decision that you have to make. Whether you’re waiting for marriage or having a one night stand. It is a personal decision that no one should judge you on. But this post isn’t about having sex. It’s about our views on sex and, how we are afraid to talk about it. IN 2014 there is still a little bit of stigma about sex. My concern is that there is also a stigma about being an adult virgin. What’s going on? I want to say sex is just sex but I don’t believe that to be true. Sex is not just sex because if you are not careful, sex can be dangerous. It can hurt other people if you betray them with sex and, yes sex can be seen as an act of betrayal. Like infidelity for example.

While I’m still going to stay abstinent until marriage, I think it’s hurtful to view sex as such a bad thing. Think it’s hurtful to call girls who doesn’t want to have sex a prude. I think it is hurtful to call girls who want to have sex a slut. I think it’s horrible to tell boys you won’t be a men yet until you have sex. Yes you can get STDS from it. Yes you can have an unplanned pregnancies from it. In general though, sex is a good thing and, it shouldn’t be seen as anything dirty. It shouldn’t be something people feel ashamed about. Especially when it’s between you and, your partner or spouse.

 

 

I Like Him A lot Love Him Even

I hope and pray that I can tell him how I feel. I pray that I will see him again. He is so sweet and he is such an happy person. But he will be going home to California. He doesn’t look like Denzel Washington, Idris Elba or Brad Pitt. He does not look like an Calvin Klein model but he is handsome to me. He is beautiful on the inside.

He is just a friend now but if I would tell him how I feel I would say, when you smile I smile. I want you to be happy. I want to make you happy. The thought of hurting you makes me cry because I would never want to do that to you. You inspire me. I don’t want to see you cry but if you do I would be there by your side. You make me want to be a better person than I’m already am . When I’m with you I feel that we are the only two people in this world. I know that sounds cheesy but it’s true.

We connect and it is so natural for us. When I first met you, I felt like we known each other forever. I felt like we were best friends just catching up with one another. When it is time to be apart. I know in my gut that you feel the same way. The way you look at me and, talk to me. When we talk it seems so natural. Maybe that’s the kind of person you are. A very outgoing person but the way we are together. It feels right you know.

Recently he found out his brother died. I haven’t seen him in 3 weeks though. If I knew his phone number I would call him and be there for him. Thinking of him being sad makes me sad. Not because I pity him but because I love him. Love ! What do I know about love? Is it a feeling? Is it a choice? Do you love for you or do you love for him? I am so confused. Why am I so confused? I want to show him that I love him and, I want to tell him but I am scared I might scare him away. People say that the guy should ask you out, the guy should say I love you first but when I see him I want to hold him and, say everything will be okay.

Should I call it infatuation, should I call it a crush or should I call it love? When people say his name I think “I want to take care of him.” I want to be there for him. I want to make love to him. Is it to early to say that? Making love? I am new to this concept of love and sex. I don’t know what to do. Why do I want these things? Why do I want him to be happy?  Why does he make me happy.

It’s embarrassing for me to be vulnerable and, talk about making love.

I am scared to admit that I love him. I’m afraid people might think I’m stupid. So I am just going to say I like him a lot. He influenced my life. I pray that I will see him again and, when I do see him again, I will be ready.  I will show him and tell him how I feel. It is not like he didn’t tell me he loved me before he did but I don’t know what kind of love he meant. I did not say it back. I don’t believe in soul mate but I know in my heart that he’s the right guy for me. I care for him deeply. He’s amazing.

Be a Parent Dammit

Ok I am usually a really nice person. I am usually sugar coat things, but no one else like ti sugar coat things and others thing. One thing that bothers me is that parents do mot know how to be parents anymore.

http://thegreatfulmom.wordpress.com/2013/05/08/why-i-dont-think-my-kids-should-have-to-ask-my-permission-to-get-tested-for-stds/comment-page-2/#comment-324

In the link above a woman wrote a blog. Just read the blog.

While I kind of agree because I am concerned about the health welfare of the child. That’s what teenagers are children. I still think that the doctors should notify the parents. It also got me thinking, what kind of parent doesn’t know that your child is having sex or have an STD? Why can’t parent know what their child is up too? Are the children too scared to tell the parent? Are the children too fast for their own good?

Why can’t people have discipline in their own home? What is going on? Why don’t parent talk to their children. Why don’t teens talk to their parents?

Something is wrong here. Children don’t have respect for their parents anymore. Sometimes I do think some children should be whipped but you can’t even do that anymore without calling it child abuse.Parents need to be clear with their kids about the rules.

Do parents have rules anymore.? There is this video of a man whooping his daughters because they were twerking on camera. If you don’t know what twerking is, look it up on youtube. .That also got me thinking. How in the word do these young girls no what twerking is? Do these parent monitor what their children watch? Do they know what music their children are listening to? Do they have television blocks? I know the girl probably learned what twerking was from friends and, other kids at school? Do you know where your kids are? Do you have a curfew for you kids? Are you your kids parent or are you their friend?

Be your child parent, not their friend. Parenthood and friendship are two different relationships. At the same time the child shouldn’t fear the parent, but respect the parent. I guess the child can fear the parent enough to respect them but, don’t make them think you are the boogie man. Well keep on loving you children. Nothing is wrong with discipline.

You may comment if you would like

Peace and Love

-Angel