What’s the Problem with Sex?

Lets be honest, I’m 21 and still a virgin. In fact I am waiting until marriage. But I’m not going to write about my religious or personal beliefs about sex. I am going to write about something that has been on mind lately.

I realized people are afraid to talk about sex and, yet we live in a over sexualized society. People don’t mind making fun of sex. Makin jokes about it but we can’t talk about it.

People act like only guys think about sex. “Men are visual creatures” they say. What about woman? Coming from a woman, I’m going to tell you guys this. Women are visual creatures too. I don’t know if men are more visual than women but that is the most stupidest quote I ever heard.

Some people think that is the reason why girls and, women should dress modestly. A man will look at you even if you do dress modestly. I am not against advocating modesty but if you dress modestly to get a man not to notice you sexually, it’s not going to work.

What my question ball down to “What’s the problem with sex?”

Society tells you if you don’t have sex until marriage or because you just don’t want to, you’re a prude. If you do have sex before marriage, they call you a slut. These statements are a real big contradiction. So what if someone wants to wait until marriage? If they don’t wait until their marriage that is their choice.

Even when a woman is married the still feel ashamed to have sex because that is what society tell her. Sex is bad. Sex is dirty. Society tell her sex is only something that men want and, need.

In popular music, instead of talking about how sex is a tender moment between two lovers, they play song like “Blurred Lines” by Robin Thicke that talk about sex as a dirty, and selfish act.

Because society tells women that sex is something that men want and, need. We have feminist saying if a woman has sex before marriage they are liberated.

Proof of that “A liberated woman who has sex before marriage and, a job after.” Gloria Steinman. So now if you wait until marriage you are not liberated or a feminist. There are so many things wrong with this quote

Another thing it is becoming abnormal to be a virgin at 21. Don’t get me wrong teenagers have been having sex since the beginning of time but this is 2014. We live longer now and, it is so abnormal to be a virgin at 21 years old. You are still young when you are 21. You have plenty of time to have sex. What is wrong with this society where it is the end of the world to be a 21 year old virgin?

Parents expect their teenagers to wait to have sex until they are adults but they don’t want to talk about sex to their kids. There are statistics saying the more often you talk to your children about sex, they will most likely wait longer. Seriously parents talk to your teens about sex and, healthy relationships. Please I beg you.

We expect too much out of sex. People say “You shouldn’t wait until marriage to have sex. You have to take that baby out for a test drive.” Look sex isn’t a car. My body isn’t a car. Your body isn’t a car. Do not compare sex with cars. You are just going to break up because the sex isn’t good enough? What since does that make?

People think if you wait until marriage to have sex, it will be some kind of magical night. It would be so wonderful and, special. Depends on your perception it could be wonderful and, special. That does not mean it won’t be awkward. It probably won’t be magical. Actually that depends on your perception too. My point is people expect too much. You don’t have to test out that “car” before you are married, but you shouldn’t have unrealistic expectations about sex either.

Sex is a personal decision that you have to make. Whether you’re waiting for marriage or having a one night stand. It is a personal decision that no one should judge you on. But this post isn’t about having sex. It’s about our views on sex and, how we are afraid to talk about it. IN 2014 there is still a little bit of stigma about sex. My concern is that there is also a stigma about being an adult virgin. What’s going on? I want to say sex is just sex but I don’t believe that to be true. Sex is not just sex because if you are not careful, sex can be dangerous. It can hurt other people if you betray them with sex and, yes sex can be seen as an act of betrayal. Like infidelity for example.

While I’m still going to stay abstinent until marriage, I think it’s hurtful to view sex as such a bad thing. Think it’s hurtful to call girls who doesn’t want to have sex a prude. I think it is hurtful to call girls who want to have sex a slut. I think it’s horrible to tell boys you won’t be a men yet until you have sex. Yes you can get STDS from it. Yes you can have an unplanned pregnancies from it. In general though, sex is a good thing and, it shouldn’t be seen as anything dirty. It shouldn’t be something people feel ashamed about. Especially when it’s between you and, your partner or spouse.

 

 

Your Happily Ever After: How to take Responsibility of Your Own Happiness

 

 

 

 

 

 

Earlier this week I wrote a blog about how you don’t need a boyfriend to make you happy. You are in charge of your own happiness. No other man can make you happy. Same thing goes for the men, no other woman will make you happiness. This is actually how relationships fail because people depend on their partner to make them happy.

What inspired me to write this blog post is that I went to the Department of Human Services today and, let me tell you something there were a lot of miserable people there. I know that this place is the last place a person wants to be but there should be some happiness. What really disappointed me in the welfare office, that the employees at the desk acted like they didn’t even care. They weren’t even happy.

I’m pretty sure most of the people who follow my blog are  suffering through trials right now we all do but we need to make ourselves happy. Happiness will help us overcome our trials.

There are five ingredients to happiness:

Optimism

Gratitude

Mindfulness

Hope

Spirituality

Those five things will help you be happy. Those are the things you need to be happy. You see how having a boyfriend/girlfriend, spouse, career, how much weight you lose, how much money you make is not on the list. That is not saying those things are important but we shouldn’t rely on those things to make us happy. We should use the five ingredients to make you happy and, never lose them.

You will probably never have a spouse, a boyfriend or a girlfriend, the career that you want, or make a lot of money you can even lose these things but you will never lose optimism, gratitude, mindfulness, hope, and, spirituality if you decide to keep that in your life. None of these five things cost a thing.

If you have depression, you can seek help and get treatment. If you have an unhappy situation you are in and, it’s possible for you can change that then change it. Those 5 ingredient will actually help you change it

I will go in depth about these 5 ingredients in another blog, Trust me these five ingredients will help you. We all have trials going on in our lives but it’s possible to stay happy. Once you choose to be happy, there will be a “Happily Ever After”

 

What is Love? Core of love.

Warning: This is just an opinion.

What is love?

Remember my last blog, I talked about how a childhood friend of mine is getting married. That got me thinking about love. What is love? How do you know you’re in love? Is love real? If you asked me 6 months ago my answer would be love is not real. What I went through when I was younger probably shaped my view a little. Not a little, a lot. If you asked me if I thought love was real now, i would have to say yes. Love is something that starts out as infatuation and then turns into actions. The reason why I think a lot of people break-up and get a divorce is because they have forgotten how to love or not willing to love that person anymore.

People think love is when the person you are with buy you flowers and candy. That’s not what love is. Sure that is what they do for the ones they love but that doesn’t prove how much they love you. Imagine this. You have a puppy, and you love that puppy so much, you would protect it and take care of it. Not just because you have to but because you want to. You would be there for that puppy no matter what.  You probably can’t imagine that puppy not being by your side.That’s what love is.

They’re different types of love but what I just explained is the core. What I’m trying to say is love is when you are willing to protect that person, take care of that person, support that person, and be there for that person. Not just because you have to but because you want to. You can find the core of love in many types of love.

Lets get to the question. How do you know when you are in love? Someone said when you don’t have to answer that question. I guess that means.

In my opinion if you are willing to do those things I have mentioned and your significant other is willing to do the things I mentioned, you are in love.

If you trust your significant other to do the things that I have mentioned, you are in love.

If you think your significant other is the most attractive person you have ever seen in your entire life and they feel the same way. On top of that you are willing to do the things that I have mentioned. Congratulations you are in love.

Don’t forget you should be best friends with your significant other too because you should be able to talk to them and have fun.

I never been in love yet. I been through the falling part but never been in love. All I know is I have friends and family that are willing to protect me, support me, and take care of me when I need them, and I would do the same. That is how I know they love me, and I love them.