My Life in High School: Regrets I Made in High School

 

 

 

I hated high school. My school high school  has 3 schools on one ground. Most kids had to walk school to school to get to their classes. The school has over 6,000 kids/students.

I tried so hard to fit in and, I tried so hard to be out going but being outgoing is not me. I tried to join clubs but I never stuck to them. I always got bored and quit. The only thing I stuck with was choir. I love to sing. I was in a play called the “Pajama Game” in my senior year. It was great! I met nice people , and had confidence in myself. I loved it but, besides the play and, choir, I never stuck to any clubs.

When I was in high school, I was so shy. Maybe I wasn’t shy, I think I was probably introverted. People thought I was mute. Really, really, mute.  According to a girl I went to high school with, people pitied me. I don’t know why people had pity on me. People always said I look sad. That was probably because I had unresolved issues at home. No one knew the hell that was living  inside my head. If you haven’t been to my blog before, that’s another story.

I also didn’t do too well in school. I was smart but I gave up on school. I put too much pressure on myself and, when I do that I become stressed out and, lazy. I was very stressed out at home and, that affected my school work and, my social life. I felt worthless.

So many other things happened to me like me being bullied but lets save that story for another blog post.

The mistakes I made in high school was

-Not accepting myself in for who I really was.

– Not doing well in my classes and, giving up.

– Quitting clubs and, activities

– Appreciating high school  more

– Not being happy

Please appreciate your high school years. You are only a teenager once and, you only go to high school for 4 years. Don’t waste those years being depressed like I was.  If you are suffering from depression, keep on getting treatment. Make friends do well in school and, be happy. The teenage years don’t have to be that. You choose to be happy. It is possible to be happy, even in high school.

 

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Love? Love is Beautiful

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” – Martin Luther King, Jr

When I was a teenager, I thought love hurt. I thought that love was when you love someone so much it hurt. When I was young, I thought love was disgusting.You know I went through that boys have cooties phase. I think most of us went through that phase. When we separated ourselves from the opposite sex. I realized that love come in many different forms, the love you have for your significant other, the love you have for your friend, the love you have for you family, and even the love you have for a stranger. Love is more than affection and, butterflies in your stomach. I just realized that. Love doesn’t hurt, and it’s a choice.

You can see people love each other everywhere you go. You can see love when a mother hold her child. You can see it when a person is by their friend side, when they a crying. You can see it when someone is helping a person take their groceries to their car.

When someone loves you, they don’t hurt you intentionally. People who love you uplift you, they don’t try to bring you down. They help you out all they can. People who love you make sacrifices for you. When your friend can be doing something else like watching “Dr Who” they are actually at your house comforting you because one of your loved ones dies. Your boyfriend might miss the football game just so he can spend time with you. Instead of having a girls night out, your girlfriend decides that she wants to spend time with you by playing your favorite video game. Remember how you parents went to every sports event, or any event that you had at school or your community? They wanted to see you. Why? Because they loved you.They probably wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t for you. They probably tried to get off work and, make room in their schedule, just to see you. That’s one way to tell that your parent love you.Taking care of someone when they are sick, is love. Saying “I love you” is love, while you are also showing them how much you love them

To me love is when you care for someone. Love is acts of kindness for a person you care about, and/or have deep feelings for. Love is also caring for someones needs. Love is being there for them. Love is the base in every friendship, and relationship. A friendship without love is is just being aquantances. A serious relationship without love is just infatuation.

That brings us to that question. Is love a feeling? Well “falling in love” is a feeling but it can fade in my opinion. “Being in love” is a choice. “Falling in love” is just another way of saying that you are infatuated. Sexual attraction is part of it also. You have a choice to stay in love in a romantic relationship. Relationships take work. The way you treat each other in an relationship will either bring you two closer together or push you two apart. It is up to the both of you, if you want to become closer or grow apart.

Love is a bond that brings people together. That is what makes love beautiful and, that is what makes love a force. That is what makes it more powerful than hate. That is what Martin Luther King Jr. meant when he said this  “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” – Martin Luther King, Jr

Love is so powerful it can get rid of hate. Love doesn’t hurt, if it does then it is not love. If you hurt the people you love unintentionally and, intentiontionally, say you are sorry and, don’t do what you did again. Responsibilities come with relationships but if you are willing to be that persons lover, or that persons friend it would be worth it. Love is what brings us together. Show the people in your life that you love them through actions and, words. Do something nice for them and for strangers. It is okay to love strangers too. Love is beautiful. Love others and accept the love others give to you.

Stories: My First Crush

Before my first “serious crush” I had a couple of crushes before the guy I am going to write about but this guy was my serious crush. The reason why I ‘m writing this story because it’s good to get things off your chest. I’m pretty sure other girls (and guys) can relate to my story, and it would really relate to teen girls and maybe guys who are insecure.

It all started on a Sunday at church. The summer of 2007.The summer before freshman year of high school. After church I went to Sunday  school and, then he walked in. He was new to the area. Let’s call him Jason. He move here from England. It wasn’t love at first and, it wasn’t even lust at first sight. I didn’t start crushing on him then but he was attractive I guess. It turns out we were going to the same high school in the fall. When he found that out his eyes bright up and his facial expression was like cool. He was excited that he was going to know someone in his grade.

That year in the fall, we never had any classes together, and we didn’t really bump into each other. We talked a lot at church but not at school. Then one day in October Jason saw me in the hallway, and said “Hey Angelisa” then for some reason when I looked at him, my heart started beating fast, my palms started sweating and, I didn’t know what to do. Why did I feel this way all of the sudden? We said hi before and, we talked before. Then he asked “How was your day?” He tried to make small talk but I did not know what to say. I said fine and then walked away fast. Since then every time I saw him, my heart beat really fast.

I got really sad because I think he started liking my best friend. She didn’t like him but I had a feeling he liked her. He always talked to her. They weren’t exactly flirting but, he gave all his attention to her. Then he had other girlfriends and that broke my heart. But even though he dated other girls our friendship grew. We talked but I refuse to talk about any of his girlfriends. He only had two girlfriends in high school but that was enough for me to get my heart broken. I had an on again, and off again crush on him for three years in my high school career. Then I fell in love with someone else my junior and senior year. That is another story.

Jason drove me crazy though. Sometimes I like him and, sometime he got on my nerves. Just the little things he did like played rap music too loud in the car, or wearing a 59/50 hat. I’m sorry I think those hats are goofy. The same things that got on my nerves about him are the same things that I found cute about him. The reason why he got on my nerves because those little things made me blush. One thing that made me like him was how he treated his little sisters. He has 4 little sisters who he protects, and I can tell he loves them very much, and I can tell that they love him too

Well in 2011 Jason went off to college and I went to college. I was still hung up on this other boy until I found out a secret about this one boy that wasn’t really bad but it prevented us from having an relationship. I will tell you that story another time.

He came back home for the summer of 2012, and he offered to drive me to a barbeque  that  this girl was having. After the barbeque he drove me home, and we talked about music, and life. The feelings were rushing back again. I don’t know why it just did. He is a cool guy. Well because of my shyness, and the fact I wanted to kiss him but I didn’t want to kiss him and he definitely didn’t want to kiss me so when he dropped me off, I hopped out of that car really fast. He wasn’t offended by it because the following Sunday he saw me at church, and smiled at me , and I froze but instead I could carry on a conversation. He probably couldn’t even tell that I was nervous. It was weird because in my freshman, and sophomore year of high school, he never smiled at anyone, and never was that friendly. I guess he grew up.

Now Jason’s on a mission trip with our church, and I wrote a letter to him and, he wrote back. He probably would never return the feelings I have for him but,  before he went he told me I was amazing. I rather for him to think that I am amazing and be his best friend than be a stranger to him.