Relationships: Loving Someone

* Excuse the typos

 

When you are a teenager you deal with a lot of changes. When you are an adult you still go through a lot of changes. There are so many things you wonder about your whole life. One of those questions are “What is Love?” I don’t think a lot of people know the actual definition of love. You can see this when 50% of marriages end up in divorce. While I hope most people get a divorce for the right reasons like spousal abuse or maybe trust issues but there are other people who get a divorce because they’re spouse is sick or because the spouse snoring or anything like that.

Do people still think love is only a feeling? Love is not just a feeling. It’s a choice and, a action. A choice that bonds 2 people together like some kind of powerful force. Love is when you care about someone, you will do anything for them, and, take care of them. When you love someone, you are there for them. When you love someone you protect them. When you love someone you make sacrifices for them. Love is hard and, needs to be nurtured as years go on. Which is why a lot of teenagers break up and, don’t stay together. They are not ready to make those sacrifices and, make that kind of commitment.

“Love is like Friendship on Fire” from the movie The Perfect Man. The movie sucked but this quote is spot on and always stuck with me

You can’t expect love to be passionate and, romantic all the time. You have to have that friendship as the base. Once that fire burns out, that doesn’t mean your relationship is over. You can always start the romance back up again if you find the time but it doesn’t have to be anything big.

Sometimes I wonder if adults are ready for that kind of commitment. If they were, why do they get a divorce all the time. What is that teaching the next generation? “It’s fine to get married but if it doesn’t work out, that’s okay you can just get a divorce.”

Communication is key! Very good communication. Your need to communicate with your spouse. That could be a reason why a lot of people get a divorce. We have horrible communication skills. You should never yell or belittle anyone you love. If you do please stop. Talk it out.

Sacrifices: I will like to tell you two stories about sacrifice

There was this couple who met when they were teenagers. Lets name them Johnny and, Tiffany to keep their identities anonymous. They started dating in high school, and they fell in love. Tiffany family had to move away to another state but they did not break up. They started a long distance relationship. He drove over some weekends with his parents permission to visit her. That went on until they graduated from high school. When they became adults, they got married. Now they are married for 12 years and, have 2 kids. This story shows sacrifice in my opinion because Johnny and, Tiffany were young. Johnny had a choice to date other people and, so did Tiffany. Why would they make those kind of sacrifices at a young age? Because they loved each other and still do. They wanted to be together, so the did everything they could together.

Now the next story is about my experience with love and, sacrifice. I have this friend. Lets call him Dave. I had a crush on him all through high school. We laughed together, flirted, hung out etc. A year after we got out of high school, he told me he was gay. I was heartbroken, I thought we were going to get married. I had fantasies about us being together. In my head I had two choices. Stop being his friend because it hurt so much that I would never be with him, or keep on being his friend and, be there for him every step of the way. I let him go, but keep on being his friend. He was never going to like me the way that I liked him. If I was a true friend and, if I really cared about him, I had to continue to be his friend. It’s not his fault that he was gay. It was just the way it is. To me that was a sacrifice that I made. I wanted to stay his friend because I loved him. He was there for me when I needed him, so it was time for me to be there for him and, be supportive because I loved him.

People say true love hurts. While it shouldn’t hurt in an abusive way, it does hurt in other ways. Like when you find out your spouse or lover is terminally ill or if your spouse or lover dies. Or if your spouse or lover is just having a gloomy day and, they don’t want to talk to you about it yet. It hurts. It hurts to see the person you love sad. I can relate to that. I hated to see my mother cry. I loved her so much. I hated to see her in and, out of the mental hospital. I hated to see her be afraid of my dad. To see her like that really hurt me. It’s okay to admit that love hurts in that kind of way.

Everyone is capable of loving. Everyone is capable of being loved. Just because you have been abused or treated unfairly in a previous relationship you can love again. There are so many good people in this world than bad. I honestly think so and guarantee it. The only problem with a lot of people in this world today is they don’t know what love is and, they are cynical about it. Love is real!

You can see it when a parent holds their children hand walking to the park. You can see it when a brother tries to make his sister laugh at his jokes. You can see it at a soup kitchen where people give up there time to help other eat their meal. You can see it when a teenager teach an elementary school child how to read. You can see it when you see a person play with their dog. You can see it when a boyfriend decides to pick up his sweetie from work without complaining. You can see it everywhere. In a world where it feels like there is no hope, you can always find love.

You are ready to be in a committed relationship or even married if you love others because if you love others, treat others like decent human beings and, if you serve others in need without expecting anything in return. You are ready to find the love of your life because if you do those things for other. Imagine what you can do for your significant other.

Will you do something for me? If you have a crush on someone or interested in someone. Or maybe you just entered into a relationship. Don’t tell them that you love them that would be creepy but show them that you care and, show them that you love them because that is what love is a choice. They may not say it and, know how to express it in words but they would feel very warm inside. They will feel loved.

 

 

 

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I Like Him A lot Love Him Even

I hope and pray that I can tell him how I feel. I pray that I will see him again. He is so sweet and he is such an happy person. But he will be going home to California. He doesn’t look like Denzel Washington, Idris Elba or Brad Pitt. He does not look like an Calvin Klein model but he is handsome to me. He is beautiful on the inside.

He is just a friend now but if I would tell him how I feel I would say, when you smile I smile. I want you to be happy. I want to make you happy. The thought of hurting you makes me cry because I would never want to do that to you. You inspire me. I don’t want to see you cry but if you do I would be there by your side. You make me want to be a better person than I’m already am . When I’m with you I feel that we are the only two people in this world. I know that sounds cheesy but it’s true.

We connect and it is so natural for us. When I first met you, I felt like we known each other forever. I felt like we were best friends just catching up with one another. When it is time to be apart. I know in my gut that you feel the same way. The way you look at me and, talk to me. When we talk it seems so natural. Maybe that’s the kind of person you are. A very outgoing person but the way we are together. It feels right you know.

Recently he found out his brother died. I haven’t seen him in 3 weeks though. If I knew his phone number I would call him and be there for him. Thinking of him being sad makes me sad. Not because I pity him but because I love him. Love ! What do I know about love? Is it a feeling? Is it a choice? Do you love for you or do you love for him? I am so confused. Why am I so confused? I want to show him that I love him and, I want to tell him but I am scared I might scare him away. People say that the guy should ask you out, the guy should say I love you first but when I see him I want to hold him and, say everything will be okay.

Should I call it infatuation, should I call it a crush or should I call it love? When people say his name I think “I want to take care of him.” I want to be there for him. I want to make love to him. Is it to early to say that? Making love? I am new to this concept of love and sex. I don’t know what to do. Why do I want these things? Why do I want him to be happy?  Why does he make me happy.

It’s embarrassing for me to be vulnerable and, talk about making love.

I am scared to admit that I love him. I’m afraid people might think I’m stupid. So I am just going to say I like him a lot. He influenced my life. I pray that I will see him again and, when I do see him again, I will be ready.  I will show him and tell him how I feel. It is not like he didn’t tell me he loved me before he did but I don’t know what kind of love he meant. I did not say it back. I don’t believe in soul mate but I know in my heart that he’s the right guy for me. I care for him deeply. He’s amazing.

Stories: My First Crush

Before my first “serious crush” I had a couple of crushes before the guy I am going to write about but this guy was my serious crush. The reason why I ‘m writing this story because it’s good to get things off your chest. I’m pretty sure other girls (and guys) can relate to my story, and it would really relate to teen girls and maybe guys who are insecure.

It all started on a Sunday at church. The summer of 2007.The summer before freshman year of high school. After church I went to Sunday  school and, then he walked in. He was new to the area. Let’s call him Jason. He move here from England. It wasn’t love at first and, it wasn’t even lust at first sight. I didn’t start crushing on him then but he was attractive I guess. It turns out we were going to the same high school in the fall. When he found that out his eyes bright up and his facial expression was like cool. He was excited that he was going to know someone in his grade.

That year in the fall, we never had any classes together, and we didn’t really bump into each other. We talked a lot at church but not at school. Then one day in October Jason saw me in the hallway, and said “Hey Angelisa” then for some reason when I looked at him, my heart started beating fast, my palms started sweating and, I didn’t know what to do. Why did I feel this way all of the sudden? We said hi before and, we talked before. Then he asked “How was your day?” He tried to make small talk but I did not know what to say. I said fine and then walked away fast. Since then every time I saw him, my heart beat really fast.

I got really sad because I think he started liking my best friend. She didn’t like him but I had a feeling he liked her. He always talked to her. They weren’t exactly flirting but, he gave all his attention to her. Then he had other girlfriends and that broke my heart. But even though he dated other girls our friendship grew. We talked but I refuse to talk about any of his girlfriends. He only had two girlfriends in high school but that was enough for me to get my heart broken. I had an on again, and off again crush on him for three years in my high school career. Then I fell in love with someone else my junior and senior year. That is another story.

Jason drove me crazy though. Sometimes I like him and, sometime he got on my nerves. Just the little things he did like played rap music too loud in the car, or wearing a 59/50 hat. I’m sorry I think those hats are goofy. The same things that got on my nerves about him are the same things that I found cute about him. The reason why he got on my nerves because those little things made me blush. One thing that made me like him was how he treated his little sisters. He has 4 little sisters who he protects, and I can tell he loves them very much, and I can tell that they love him too

Well in 2011 Jason went off to college and I went to college. I was still hung up on this other boy until I found out a secret about this one boy that wasn’t really bad but it prevented us from having an relationship. I will tell you that story another time.

He came back home for the summer of 2012, and he offered to drive me to a barbeque  that  this girl was having. After the barbeque he drove me home, and we talked about music, and life. The feelings were rushing back again. I don’t know why it just did. He is a cool guy. Well because of my shyness, and the fact I wanted to kiss him but I didn’t want to kiss him and he definitely didn’t want to kiss me so when he dropped me off, I hopped out of that car really fast. He wasn’t offended by it because the following Sunday he saw me at church, and smiled at me , and I froze but instead I could carry on a conversation. He probably couldn’t even tell that I was nervous. It was weird because in my freshman, and sophomore year of high school, he never smiled at anyone, and never was that friendly. I guess he grew up.

Now Jason’s on a mission trip with our church, and I wrote a letter to him and, he wrote back. He probably would never return the feelings I have for him but,  before he went he told me I was amazing. I rather for him to think that I am amazing and be his best friend than be a stranger to him.