They Don’t Have to Like You

So, on another post I wrote about Abercrombie and Fitch and on how haters gonna hate. It’s true, people are going to hate you and, judge you on the way you look or your religion. It use to sadden me but now I’m like whatever. See I am an overweight African-American girl and, do you know how many people hate me because of that? Someone gave me the stink eye. I don’t know why they gave me the stink eye but,they sure did. I left it alone. The reason why I wrote this blog is because a lot of people who are gay are sad that people tolerate them but they are angry or sad that they don’t agree with their lifestyle As more gay people come out of the closet, more haters are going to come out of the closet. That’s what I think will happen. Laws change but people don’t.

All I have to say is to the people who are gay and, feel that people don’t like them because of it, shake them off, give them the finger and, move on.

I know that this statement is kind of harsh but, you can’t make people feel a certain way. People are going to talk and, hate but as long as they are not being fake to you,harassing or, yelling in your face, you can’t do anything about it. Don’t let anyone do those things to you by the way, I’m going to write a blog about that later on why you shouldn’t let people treat you like crap.

People are going to hate you because of your race, weight, sexual orientation, religion and, things but, they’re also people who will love you. Think about the people who  love you. If you don’t have anyone, try to make friends who will accept you.

Love yourself, and be confident! Live for you! Believe in yourself!

The only person that should like you is you.

How to Respect Women: Boys I’m talking to you

One day I was taking a stroll around my neighborhood and, these three boys were staring at me. They looked like they were teenagers. One of then yelled “Hey!” to me. He walked over to me and, I was wondering if I knew him from somewhere. Then he asked. “Do you suck dicks?” I said no. He thought I was another girl he said. I felt very uncomfortable and, disgusted. Why would someone come out and, ask anyone that. What a creep. This is why I am writing this blog today. How to respect a lady. I made a list.

 

– Do not ask a girl if she suck dick. That is just rude and disgusting.

– If you see a girl and, you think she’s cute but you don’t know what to say, just smile at her. Don’t whistle or, bark like a dog.

– Open the door if you see a woman coming. You do it with women you know and, don’t know.

– Practice chivalry

– See them as human beings, not objects.

– Don’t pressure a girl to have sex. No means no.

– Don’t expect to make out on the first date. Try having a conversation.

– Don’t put your hand on women. That means don’t hit her or punch her. Don’t abuse her.

– Think about how you want a man or a person to treat your mother or sister. Do you want someone to ask them if they suck dicks. I hope you don’t.

– Don’t call them derogatory names. How would you feel if someone calls your mother the c-word.

Think about how you want to be treated as a human being. I mean do you really want someone to randomly come up to you and ask  you. “Do you suck dick?”

Double Standards: Age, Gender and, Sexual Harrassment

A couple of weeks ago, I have been watching this show called “Glee”. You know the corny show about the high school glee club. Sometimes glee can be corny, but other times it has some serious topics.This particular episode was when tone of the student named Ryder admitted that when he was 11 he molested by his babysitter who was an 17 year old girl. He said he didn’t even want to tell his parents because, he felt ashamed. Sam and Artie who are the other students said that they would want 17 year old girl to jump on them. They thought Ryder was the luckiest guy on the earth. They couldn’t understand why Ryder was complaining.

This episode made me think about how many guys fee this way. That men who accuse women of rape are pussies, and I feel that is misinformation. How many rapes committed by women that victimize young boys go unreported? If an eleven year old girl got raped by an seventeen year old boy, they would either call her a slut (Some guys are like that.) or they would be ready to put their hands on the guy who did it. It shouldn’t matter which gender get molested, both boys and, girls are the victims if they get molested.

I have another example on how we lake it lightly when a grown woman is with a teenage boy. There was this hit song that came out in the early 90s. It was called “Just Can’t Handle It”. It was sung by this teen R&B group called “Hi-Five” The first verse described how this 16 year old boy had a crush on an older women and, that happens. Then it got to the second verse and, in the second verse described how he skipped school, and went to her place. Then she started undress in front of him so, that makes him tempted because this 25 year old woman is so fine. (If you live in another country and, you don’t know what it means when you call a person fine. Fine= attractive or sexy). I think this song was a hit for a short time. It played at school dances and, kids sung along to it.But lets be honest if a girl was singing this song about a 25 year old man. Do you think people would be singing along with it. They would have thought the 25 year old man was a creep. Don’t get me wrong, I understand why kids like the song back then because it was catchy and danceable but I don’t think the song would have made it on the charts, I think it would have made it on the news if it was about a 16 year old girl, and a 25 year old man.

The bottom line is that we should stop making man feel ashamed if they are the victims of rape.  We should be more empathetic to all rape victims. I think society teaches that it is ok  for teenage boys to have sex with grown women. They would become man if they do that. Society also tries to teach us  that if you were raped as a little boy, you should feel ashamed. I think that’s what that episode of “Glee” was trying to point out. Society also teaches that if a young woman sleeps with another guy she is a the victim, a gold digger or, a slut. If a girl is raped she is a slut (some guys think that way) or the victim.

If you been raped you are in my prayers. It’s not your fault. If you are a rape survivor you are in my prayer, and I admire you so much for being strong.

To learn more info about rape go to:

http://rainn.org/

If you want to know about that episode of “Glee” go to:

http://rainn.org/news-room/glee-rainn-team-up-for-episode

Stories: My First Crush

Before my first “serious crush” I had a couple of crushes before the guy I am going to write about but this guy was my serious crush. The reason why I ‘m writing this story because it’s good to get things off your chest. I’m pretty sure other girls (and guys) can relate to my story, and it would really relate to teen girls and maybe guys who are insecure.

It all started on a Sunday at church. The summer of 2007.The summer before freshman year of high school. After church I went to Sunday  school and, then he walked in. He was new to the area. Let’s call him Jason. He move here from England. It wasn’t love at first and, it wasn’t even lust at first sight. I didn’t start crushing on him then but he was attractive I guess. It turns out we were going to the same high school in the fall. When he found that out his eyes bright up and his facial expression was like cool. He was excited that he was going to know someone in his grade.

That year in the fall, we never had any classes together, and we didn’t really bump into each other. We talked a lot at church but not at school. Then one day in October Jason saw me in the hallway, and said “Hey Angelisa” then for some reason when I looked at him, my heart started beating fast, my palms started sweating and, I didn’t know what to do. Why did I feel this way all of the sudden? We said hi before and, we talked before. Then he asked “How was your day?” He tried to make small talk but I did not know what to say. I said fine and then walked away fast. Since then every time I saw him, my heart beat really fast.

I got really sad because I think he started liking my best friend. She didn’t like him but I had a feeling he liked her. He always talked to her. They weren’t exactly flirting but, he gave all his attention to her. Then he had other girlfriends and that broke my heart. But even though he dated other girls our friendship grew. We talked but I refuse to talk about any of his girlfriends. He only had two girlfriends in high school but that was enough for me to get my heart broken. I had an on again, and off again crush on him for three years in my high school career. Then I fell in love with someone else my junior and senior year. That is another story.

Jason drove me crazy though. Sometimes I like him and, sometime he got on my nerves. Just the little things he did like played rap music too loud in the car, or wearing a 59/50 hat. I’m sorry I think those hats are goofy. The same things that got on my nerves about him are the same things that I found cute about him. The reason why he got on my nerves because those little things made me blush. One thing that made me like him was how he treated his little sisters. He has 4 little sisters who he protects, and I can tell he loves them very much, and I can tell that they love him too

Well in 2011 Jason went off to college and I went to college. I was still hung up on this other boy until I found out a secret about this one boy that wasn’t really bad but it prevented us from having an relationship. I will tell you that story another time.

He came back home for the summer of 2012, and he offered to drive me to a barbeque  that  this girl was having. After the barbeque he drove me home, and we talked about music, and life. The feelings were rushing back again. I don’t know why it just did. He is a cool guy. Well because of my shyness, and the fact I wanted to kiss him but I didn’t want to kiss him and he definitely didn’t want to kiss me so when he dropped me off, I hopped out of that car really fast. He wasn’t offended by it because the following Sunday he saw me at church, and smiled at me , and I froze but instead I could carry on a conversation. He probably couldn’t even tell that I was nervous. It was weird because in my freshman, and sophomore year of high school, he never smiled at anyone, and never was that friendly. I guess he grew up.

Now Jason’s on a mission trip with our church, and I wrote a letter to him and, he wrote back. He probably would never return the feelings I have for him but,  before he went he told me I was amazing. I rather for him to think that I am amazing and be his best friend than be a stranger to him.

Some People are Just Quiet

This girl brought to my attention that people pity me in high school. What brought this on was that I had an opinion on Romeo and Juliet, and said my statuses baffles her because people felt sorry for me, and I was dependent on others. They thought I wasn’t fluent because……I don’t know why. I have a problem with this. If people thought I wasn’t fluent because I never talked. At least never talked to them. They just made a fool out of themselves or made a fool out of me. Actually I think they are the fools because they made that assumption. I understand that I didn’t raise my hands in class as often as I should, and it was hard for me to make friends because I have trust issues but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t fluent.

Lets clear some things up on why I was so quiet:

1. When I first meet someone I guess you can say I’m shy, and I’m not as outgoing as others but as I get to know you I start bursting out of my shell.

2. Just because a person doesn’t smile all of the time, it doesn’t mean their sad. When I’m sad I cry.

3. When a person is soft-spoken, it just means their soft-spoken

4. To be honest I couldn’t relate to most of the kids in high school. The only thing they talked about was boys/girls, sex and gossip. I was too embarrass to talk about boys. Why would I talk about sex? I do not like to gossip because I don’t care what is going on in someones life but my own.

5. Some people who are have been friends for a long time, like to play what I like to call it the “Do you remember” game.

“Do you remember when David fell off the tree he climb?”
“Do you remember when Sandra at the glue?”

Nothing is wrong with going down memory lane with your friends but when there is a new member to your group, it can get kind of awkward. If you want to tell you new friends stories about what happened to you in the past, actually tell them the story. Don’t ignore the new, and make it seem like they are not there, or worse. The worse is to make it seem like everyone in that group know what you are talking about.

6. I express myself more when I write. The reason why it seems that I’m more opinionated when I write is because I could get my thoughts together down on a piece of paper or on a facebook status.

7. One last thing, I felt that people ignored me in high school. I thought people would judge me if I said something but apparently people already were.

I know I probably should have put more effort for people to get to know me, but they acted like they didn’t get to me. I only had ten real conversations with students through my high school career 6 out of the ten were teenagers from my church, so they knew the real me a little bit. I thought kids at high school hated me, but they actually felt sorry for me. Really?

Yes there were things going on in my family that probably made me quiet, but a lot of people are quiet. I shouldn’t even have to explain myself on why I am so quiet.

Some people are quiet.
Some people are shy.
Some people are introverted.

Some people are soft-spoken.

Nothing is wrong with them.

Don’t speak for them, think they are stupid, make fun of them, or feel sorry for them. Introduce yourself then get to know them, and you may find out that quiet person may be the most outgoing person you ever met. Maybe they are not outgoing but that is just them.

Spending Time with Family

In this day and age where we all are busy, we never have a chance to spend time with family. The teenagers want to spend most of their time with friends, and the parents work a lot. Don’t get me wrong nothing is wrong with working, and nothing is wrong with hanging out with people your own age. But some families get to the point where they don’t even know each other anymore.

That is probably why teenagers and parent don’t connect like they should besides the whole teenagers trying to find your own identity thing. They are afraid that their parents might judge them because they spend enough time together to build trust. My worries is that parents get to that point where they don’t know what their children are doing.

How do you not know that your daughter has boyfriend?

How do you not know your son is having unprotected sex?

How do you not know you child brought a torture weapon?

How do you not know that your child is unhappy?

I understand some people are single parents, so they have to work a lot. You can still try to have a night with the family. I know most teens will think a family night is lame but you can have a lot of conversations with each other to build that trust again. Your child will feel more comfortable to tell you more thing, if you are not quick to judge. You can also try to eat at the kitchen table with the family. A lot of stuff comes out at the kitchen table.

They might not tell you most of the things that are going in their social life right away but here are the things that a parent should know about their teen.

1. Who their friends are.

2. What are their hobbles. (If you are a parent who doesn’t know your children hobbies, all I have to say is wow)

3. How are they feeling.

I am in no way saying that parents and teens should be friends, but in my opinion a parent and their child bond should be strong. Children shouldn’t become friends with their parents until they become parents themselves. You should trust one another like a person would trust a friend but they should be able trust each other more. Parent should still keep boundaries but don’t lose that relationship because your child may have a secret life that you probably don’t  even know about.

Don’t forget to tell your kids that you love them, because I’m pretty sure they love you too.