Your Happily Ever After: How to take Responsibility of Your Own Happiness

 

 

 

 

 

 

Earlier this week I wrote a blog about how you don’t need a boyfriend to make you happy. You are in charge of your own happiness. No other man can make you happy. Same thing goes for the men, no other woman will make you happiness. This is actually how relationships fail because people depend on their partner to make them happy.

What inspired me to write this blog post is that I went to the Department of Human Services today and, let me tell you something there were a lot of miserable people there. I know that this place is the last place a person wants to be but there should be some happiness. What really disappointed me in the welfare office, that the employees at the desk acted like they didn’t even care. They weren’t even happy.

I’m pretty sure most of the people who follow my blog are  suffering through trials right now we all do but we need to make ourselves happy. Happiness will help us overcome our trials.

There are five ingredients to happiness:

Optimism

Gratitude

Mindfulness

Hope

Spirituality

Those five things will help you be happy. Those are the things you need to be happy. You see how having a boyfriend/girlfriend, spouse, career, how much weight you lose, how much money you make is not on the list. That is not saying those things are important but we shouldn’t rely on those things to make us happy. We should use the five ingredients to make you happy and, never lose them.

You will probably never have a spouse, a boyfriend or a girlfriend, the career that you want, or make a lot of money you can even lose these things but you will never lose optimism, gratitude, mindfulness, hope, and, spirituality if you decide to keep that in your life. None of these five things cost a thing.

If you have depression, you can seek help and get treatment. If you have an unhappy situation you are in and, it’s possible for you can change that then change it. Those 5 ingredient will actually help you change it

I will go in depth about these 5 ingredients in another blog, Trust me these five ingredients will help you. We all have trials going on in our lives but it’s possible to stay happy. Once you choose to be happy, there will be a “Happily Ever After”

 

The Lie: You need a boyfriend to make you happy

All my life I heard things about relationship. I always heard things that if you don’t have a boyfriend by a certain deadline, you were deemed to be unworthy. I feel that society teaches us that if we don’t have affection from a guy you are missing out on something. I for one never been asked out on a date and, I’m almost 21 years old. I feel like everyone has or had a boyfriend and, the experience something that I haven’t. I feel like I’m missing out on something. To most teenagers going on your first date is a rite of passage and, I feel a little immature and, inexperienced compared to my peers. They all been in relationships before and I haven’t.

Every girl believes they need a boyfriend to make them happy. We believe that we need a boyfriend or a bunch of guys after us to feel validated and, a guy to make us feel beautiful. That is not true. The reason why we think this is because of Disney Movies and shows that are aimed to girls. They always talk about boys and women who wants to be in relationships and, thinks it’s the end of the world if they don’t have a boyfriend. In fairy tales  you have prince charming always saving the princess, and I think that kind of give girls the idea that they need a man to feel beautiful. There are also shows like Being Mary Jane and Sex and, the City where relationships are the top priority for these women. In both shows you have women with successful careers but they are worrying about men who don’t really care about them. Scandal is another example. A woman that has a great career. While her career is he top priority, her other priority is sleeping with a married man who is the president of the United States. This is probably why women feel that they need a man to make them happy.

I’m not saying that we shouldn’t watch Disney movies or TV shows about women and, relationships. All I’m saying is that we need more diverse lifestyles in the media. I think we need to teach girls that they don’t need to be in a relationship to be happy. Teach them that it is okay to have other goals in their life, like education, career, and hobbies.

The point is that you don’t need a boyfriend to be happy. You don’t even need a career to be happy. The thing that will make you happy is accepting yourself. You don’t need to be validated for a man. You don’t need a boyfriend to make you feel beautiful. A boyfriend enriches your life but it’s not his job to make you happy. His job is to love you and, be there for you, that is it.  Being single is not a disease, and it is okay. Nothing is wrong with you.

Body Shaming: Dieting and Weight

Since the Abercrombie and Fitch controversy, I have been thinking a lot about body shaming. Living here in the U.S.A we are a weight obsess society, and we are also have a lot of junk food here. We eat out a lot and, we diet a lot. It is ridiculous. We have all these weight loss shows and, weight loss products. We also have all this food. Because of this people are becoming obese and, have eating disorders. What is up with the contradiction?

On television, magazines and, movies  are making us feel bad about our bodies. They want us to be thinner. Sometimes they pressure us to be thin even when we are already thin. They have cereal like “Cheerios” taking advantage of the fact that people are insecure about their weight and, taking advantage of the “obesity epidemic”. Weight loss pills are also taking advantage of it.The T.V. shows like “The Biggest Loser” is fake. No one workout 5 hours a day, and loses weight that fast. I know most of the people are morbidly obese but they lose weight faster than an everyday person who is morbidly obese. I know people watch the show for motivation but that show makes me sick to my stomach. It doesn’t motivate me at all. Does it even go to the root of the problem of why they eat a lot of fast food in the first place.

People are also calling people who are too thin anorexic. Anorexia is not a joke and, you shouldn’t be calling anyone that. Some people are naturally skinny. Some people are naturally heavy. I didn’t say naturally fat, but I did  say naturally heavy or curvy. There is a difference. Some people have a low metabolism, and some people have  a high metabolism.

You shouldn’t even make fun of people if they are fat. You don’t know why they are fat. It could be because, of medication, thyroid disease, or they probably depress so they eat a lot.

Fad diet are also a bad idea. Going on fad diets are unhealthy, and you can’t diet for the rest of your life. If you want to change your eating habits, change your lifestyle.

Eat a balance diet, and lay off the sweets. Exercise if you want to lose weight. Actually I hate the term losing weight, so I’m going to change it to getting healthier. Ditch the scale and, just eat healthy and, exercise. Food addicts and people with eating disorder probably need more help like therapy, and/or treatment. You shouldn’t focus on weight because it will just run you crazy. You will go insane.

The most successful weight loss stories are the ones where the people focus more on health than weight. Their motivation is they want to be healthy for their kids. They want to be there to see them graduate, get married, and have children of their own. They also lose weight because they don’t want a disease that is caused by obesity. They also want to see the world or run faster or be stronger. Yes they want to lose weight, but that is not their only goal. Their goal is to be healthier. Let me get real. I am not talking about people who want to lose 20 pounds because they are only 20 pounds overweight. I’m talking about people who are 50 pounds overweight and over that lost weight successfully. Some personal trainer from TV said when you exercise and eat healthier, you might not see it on the outside right away but, the insides are already changing.

If you only want to lose 20 pounds to fit into a dress for any special occasions. I’ll give you some advice. My advice is buy another freaking dress that fits. If you want to lose 20 pounds the healthy way because you are worried about your health, and scared that you will end up gaining more. Have a healthier and, more balance diet.

I am overweight and I lost 30 pounds, and have 30 more to go. I’m not counting I probably lost more. My freshman year in high school I starved myself for a month and lost 20 pounds in that month. I only ate one meal a day. That wasn’t really healthy obviously. When I was in high school, I took laxatives to lose weight. It felt horrible. I tried to lose weight for boys can like me. I wanted to lose weight to be beautiful. Then I gained back 30 pounds. Today, I lost 30 pounds. The last time I weighed myself and it said I lost 30 pounds. Let me tell you I have haters before I lost 30 pounds and, haters after. Now some people are saying I’m getting to skinny. I’m like please! I am eating healthier, and exercising. My body is just responding to it. My weight was 200 pounds and, now I’m 170 so nothing is wrong with me losing more weight. I know I have a bigger muscle mass or whatever but I want look sick if I lose 30 more pounds. Haters will never go away. That’s why you have to do the things that you want to do as long as you are not hurting yourself and nobody else.

Even if you are overweight that doesn’t mean you can’t love yourself. No one is meant to look like the models in the magazines. Look like yourself, and love yourself. Focus on your overall health instead of weight.

Peace and Love

Angel

People are going to hate. My response to the Abercrombie and Fitch controversy.

So I heard about the Abercrombie and Fitch controversy and, if you don’t know about it yet the link is right here.

http://elitedaily.com/news/world/abercrombie-fitch-ceo-explains-why-he-hates-fat-chicks/

It made me realize that people are going to hate you for no good reason and, people are going to talk. Let me tell you something, everyone is beautiful. No, I’m not trying to be nice but I personally think everyone is beautiful. I came up with that conclusion when there was this guy, and people had feelings about his looks. Some people thought he was handsome, and some people thought he was ugly. My personal experience with myself that some people think I’m ugly and some people think I am beautiful.

The truth is people are going to say mean things about you by the way you look, not your character. People are going to hate you because of you race. People are going to hate you because of your weight. People are going to hate you because of your religion. They are going to hate you and, insult you just because.

What can you do?

Ignore them and, be the best person you can be.

You don’t have to have anything to do with your haters and, you don’t have to support Abercrombie and Fitch. You know you are a good person, and when you learn to love yourself, you will realize how beautiful you really are and, won’t care what other people think about you.

Peace and Love

-Angel