My Life in High School: Regrets I Made in High School

 

 

 

I hated high school. My school high school  has 3 schools on one ground. Most kids had to walk school to school to get to their classes. The school has over 6,000 kids/students.

I tried so hard to fit in and, I tried so hard to be out going but being outgoing is not me. I tried to join clubs but I never stuck to them. I always got bored and quit. The only thing I stuck with was choir. I love to sing. I was in a play called the “Pajama Game” in my senior year. It was great! I met nice people , and had confidence in myself. I loved it but, besides the play and, choir, I never stuck to any clubs.

When I was in high school, I was so shy. Maybe I wasn’t shy, I think I was probably introverted. People thought I was mute. Really, really, mute.  According to a girl I went to high school with, people pitied me. I don’t know why people had pity on me. People always said I look sad. That was probably because I had unresolved issues at home. No one knew the hell that was living  inside my head. If you haven’t been to my blog before, that’s another story.

I also didn’t do too well in school. I was smart but I gave up on school. I put too much pressure on myself and, when I do that I become stressed out and, lazy. I was very stressed out at home and, that affected my school work and, my social life. I felt worthless.

So many other things happened to me like me being bullied but lets save that story for another blog post.

The mistakes I made in high school was

-Not accepting myself in for who I really was.

– Not doing well in my classes and, giving up.

– Quitting clubs and, activities

– Appreciating high school  more

– Not being happy

Please appreciate your high school years. You are only a teenager once and, you only go to high school for 4 years. Don’t waste those years being depressed like I was.  If you are suffering from depression, keep on getting treatment. Make friends do well in school and, be happy. The teenage years don’t have to be that. You choose to be happy. It is possible to be happy, even in high school.

 

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Stories: My First Crush

Before my first “serious crush” I had a couple of crushes before the guy I am going to write about but this guy was my serious crush. The reason why I ‘m writing this story because it’s good to get things off your chest. I’m pretty sure other girls (and guys) can relate to my story, and it would really relate to teen girls and maybe guys who are insecure.

It all started on a Sunday at church. The summer of 2007.The summer before freshman year of high school. After church I went to Sunday  school and, then he walked in. He was new to the area. Let’s call him Jason. He move here from England. It wasn’t love at first and, it wasn’t even lust at first sight. I didn’t start crushing on him then but he was attractive I guess. It turns out we were going to the same high school in the fall. When he found that out his eyes bright up and his facial expression was like cool. He was excited that he was going to know someone in his grade.

That year in the fall, we never had any classes together, and we didn’t really bump into each other. We talked a lot at church but not at school. Then one day in October Jason saw me in the hallway, and said “Hey Angelisa” then for some reason when I looked at him, my heart started beating fast, my palms started sweating and, I didn’t know what to do. Why did I feel this way all of the sudden? We said hi before and, we talked before. Then he asked “How was your day?” He tried to make small talk but I did not know what to say. I said fine and then walked away fast. Since then every time I saw him, my heart beat really fast.

I got really sad because I think he started liking my best friend. She didn’t like him but I had a feeling he liked her. He always talked to her. They weren’t exactly flirting but, he gave all his attention to her. Then he had other girlfriends and that broke my heart. But even though he dated other girls our friendship grew. We talked but I refuse to talk about any of his girlfriends. He only had two girlfriends in high school but that was enough for me to get my heart broken. I had an on again, and off again crush on him for three years in my high school career. Then I fell in love with someone else my junior and senior year. That is another story.

Jason drove me crazy though. Sometimes I like him and, sometime he got on my nerves. Just the little things he did like played rap music too loud in the car, or wearing a 59/50 hat. I’m sorry I think those hats are goofy. The same things that got on my nerves about him are the same things that I found cute about him. The reason why he got on my nerves because those little things made me blush. One thing that made me like him was how he treated his little sisters. He has 4 little sisters who he protects, and I can tell he loves them very much, and I can tell that they love him too

Well in 2011 Jason went off to college and I went to college. I was still hung up on this other boy until I found out a secret about this one boy that wasn’t really bad but it prevented us from having an relationship. I will tell you that story another time.

He came back home for the summer of 2012, and he offered to drive me to a barbeque  that  this girl was having. After the barbeque he drove me home, and we talked about music, and life. The feelings were rushing back again. I don’t know why it just did. He is a cool guy. Well because of my shyness, and the fact I wanted to kiss him but I didn’t want to kiss him and he definitely didn’t want to kiss me so when he dropped me off, I hopped out of that car really fast. He wasn’t offended by it because the following Sunday he saw me at church, and smiled at me , and I froze but instead I could carry on a conversation. He probably couldn’t even tell that I was nervous. It was weird because in my freshman, and sophomore year of high school, he never smiled at anyone, and never was that friendly. I guess he grew up.

Now Jason’s on a mission trip with our church, and I wrote a letter to him and, he wrote back. He probably would never return the feelings I have for him but,  before he went he told me I was amazing. I rather for him to think that I am amazing and be his best friend than be a stranger to him.

Some People are Just Quiet

This girl brought to my attention that people pity me in high school. What brought this on was that I had an opinion on Romeo and Juliet, and said my statuses baffles her because people felt sorry for me, and I was dependent on others. They thought I wasn’t fluent because……I don’t know why. I have a problem with this. If people thought I wasn’t fluent because I never talked. At least never talked to them. They just made a fool out of themselves or made a fool out of me. Actually I think they are the fools because they made that assumption. I understand that I didn’t raise my hands in class as often as I should, and it was hard for me to make friends because I have trust issues but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t fluent.

Lets clear some things up on why I was so quiet:

1. When I first meet someone I guess you can say I’m shy, and I’m not as outgoing as others but as I get to know you I start bursting out of my shell.

2. Just because a person doesn’t smile all of the time, it doesn’t mean their sad. When I’m sad I cry.

3. When a person is soft-spoken, it just means their soft-spoken

4. To be honest I couldn’t relate to most of the kids in high school. The only thing they talked about was boys/girls, sex and gossip. I was too embarrass to talk about boys. Why would I talk about sex? I do not like to gossip because I don’t care what is going on in someones life but my own.

5. Some people who are have been friends for a long time, like to play what I like to call it the “Do you remember” game.

“Do you remember when David fell off the tree he climb?”
“Do you remember when Sandra at the glue?”

Nothing is wrong with going down memory lane with your friends but when there is a new member to your group, it can get kind of awkward. If you want to tell you new friends stories about what happened to you in the past, actually tell them the story. Don’t ignore the new, and make it seem like they are not there, or worse. The worse is to make it seem like everyone in that group know what you are talking about.

6. I express myself more when I write. The reason why it seems that I’m more opinionated when I write is because I could get my thoughts together down on a piece of paper or on a facebook status.

7. One last thing, I felt that people ignored me in high school. I thought people would judge me if I said something but apparently people already were.

I know I probably should have put more effort for people to get to know me, but they acted like they didn’t get to me. I only had ten real conversations with students through my high school career 6 out of the ten were teenagers from my church, so they knew the real me a little bit. I thought kids at high school hated me, but they actually felt sorry for me. Really?

Yes there were things going on in my family that probably made me quiet, but a lot of people are quiet. I shouldn’t even have to explain myself on why I am so quiet.

Some people are quiet.
Some people are shy.
Some people are introverted.

Some people are soft-spoken.

Nothing is wrong with them.

Don’t speak for them, think they are stupid, make fun of them, or feel sorry for them. Introduce yourself then get to know them, and you may find out that quiet person may be the most outgoing person you ever met. Maybe they are not outgoing but that is just them.

Spending Time with Family

In this day and age where we all are busy, we never have a chance to spend time with family. The teenagers want to spend most of their time with friends, and the parents work a lot. Don’t get me wrong nothing is wrong with working, and nothing is wrong with hanging out with people your own age. But some families get to the point where they don’t even know each other anymore.

That is probably why teenagers and parent don’t connect like they should besides the whole teenagers trying to find your own identity thing. They are afraid that their parents might judge them because they spend enough time together to build trust. My worries is that parents get to that point where they don’t know what their children are doing.

How do you not know that your daughter has boyfriend?

How do you not know your son is having unprotected sex?

How do you not know you child brought a torture weapon?

How do you not know that your child is unhappy?

I understand some people are single parents, so they have to work a lot. You can still try to have a night with the family. I know most teens will think a family night is lame but you can have a lot of conversations with each other to build that trust again. Your child will feel more comfortable to tell you more thing, if you are not quick to judge. You can also try to eat at the kitchen table with the family. A lot of stuff comes out at the kitchen table.

They might not tell you most of the things that are going in their social life right away but here are the things that a parent should know about their teen.

1. Who their friends are.

2. What are their hobbles. (If you are a parent who doesn’t know your children hobbies, all I have to say is wow)

3. How are they feeling.

I am in no way saying that parents and teens should be friends, but in my opinion a parent and their child bond should be strong. Children shouldn’t become friends with their parents until they become parents themselves. You should trust one another like a person would trust a friend but they should be able trust each other more. Parent should still keep boundaries but don’t lose that relationship because your child may have a secret life that you probably don’t  even know about.

Don’t forget to tell your kids that you love them, because I’m pretty sure they love you too.

Double Standards: Slut Shaming.

This is kind of am interesting topic I am choosing to write about. This is kind of uncomfortable for me to write about.

Stop calling girls sluts.

When a guy have sex with a lot of girl, and brag about it. The boys will call him “The man”. He is consider a player. Guys will praise like he’ s a god. If a guy does not have sex he is ashamed of himself. People won’t see him as a man.

With girls it’s another story. If a girl has sex with a lot of guys, people say she’s a slut. Her reputation is ruin. Girls hate her. Guys uses her. People see her as one thing, a sexual object.

I don’t care how promiscuous that person is. You still treat that person like a human being.  They should be treated with dignity. Bullying is unacceptable and, it won’t stop girl from having sex with numerous partners. If a guy chooses not to have sex, we shouldn’t be teasing him either. Why is it anyone business?

The bottom line is we need to stop making people feel ashamed. Don’t tease them. Plus stop calling girls sluts.

There are so much more to women and men than how many people they sleep with. They may be a nice person, probably good at sports, probably love to write etc.

If you are getting bullied, stay strong. They’re  people who love you out there

High School is Tough: People Judging You

I graduated from high school two years ago. I was so glad when I graduated because I hated school. Not because I hated the classes. Not because I hated to learn, and not because I hated the work. It was because I couldn’t handle the judgements of other people. You try to be yourself but there were people who still judge you. It made me feel awkward and uncomfortable. I was miserable. I felt that people were talking about me behind my back and I thought they hated me. Some of it was in my head but some of it was actually happening.

It’s funny because in the early years of elementary school, I loved it. It was nice to be with kids my age. Especially, with me being the only child.  As I grew up kids became so judgmental. We start to judge people base on the way they look, their weight, skin color, and even gender. We also judge other for just being themselves. Why? I’m not sure exactly why. Maybe it’s natural for we as human beings to do so. Maybe we learn it from from our parents and others. The fear of being judge of others, it stopped me from being speak up, and express what I believe.

So what if I wear that seems to big. That doesn’t give you the right to judge me. Maybe that is all that I can afford. You don’t know what other people going through.

Unfortunately, the judging does not stop at high school but what can change is how you feel about yourself. In a world full of intolerant people, you have to learn to love yourself, and accept yourself. If you judge others before you get to know them. Try to stop it.

At the end of the day, you can’t control what others thing of you, but you can control what you think of yourself.