The Lie: You need a boyfriend to make you happy

All my life I heard things about relationship. I always heard things that if you don’t have a boyfriend by a certain deadline, you were deemed to be unworthy. I feel that society teaches us that if we don’t have affection from a guy you are missing out on something. I for one never been asked out on a date and, I’m almost 21 years old. I feel like everyone has or had a boyfriend and, the experience something that I haven’t. I feel like I’m missing out on something. To most teenagers going on your first date is a rite of passage and, I feel a little immature and, inexperienced compared to my peers. They all been in relationships before and I haven’t.

Every girl believes they need a boyfriend to make them happy. We believe that we need a boyfriend or a bunch of guys after us to feel validated and, a guy to make us feel beautiful. That is not true. The reason why we think this is because of Disney Movies and shows that are aimed to girls. They always talk about boys and women who wants to be in relationships and, thinks it’s the end of the world if they don’t have a boyfriend. In fairy tales  you have prince charming always saving the princess, and I think that kind of give girls the idea that they need a man to feel beautiful. There are also shows like Being Mary Jane and Sex and, the City where relationships are the top priority for these women. In both shows you have women with successful careers but they are worrying about men who don’t really care about them. Scandal is another example. A woman that has a great career. While her career is he top priority, her other priority is sleeping with a married man who is the president of the United States. This is probably why women feel that they need a man to make them happy.

I’m not saying that we shouldn’t watch Disney movies or TV shows about women and, relationships. All I’m saying is that we need more diverse lifestyles in the media. I think we need to teach girls that they don’t need to be in a relationship to be happy. Teach them that it is okay to have other goals in their life, like education, career, and hobbies.

The point is that you don’t need a boyfriend to be happy. You don’t even need a career to be happy. The thing that will make you happy is accepting yourself. You don’t need to be validated for a man. You don’t need a boyfriend to make you feel beautiful. A boyfriend enriches your life but it’s not his job to make you happy. His job is to love you and, be there for you, that is it.  Being single is not a disease, and it is okay. Nothing is wrong with you.

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Double Standards: Age, Gender and, Sexual Harrassment

A couple of weeks ago, I have been watching this show called “Glee”. You know the corny show about the high school glee club. Sometimes glee can be corny, but other times it has some serious topics.This particular episode was when tone of the student named Ryder admitted that when he was 11 he molested by his babysitter who was an 17 year old girl. He said he didn’t even want to tell his parents because, he felt ashamed. Sam and Artie who are the other students said that they would want 17 year old girl to jump on them. They thought Ryder was the luckiest guy on the earth. They couldn’t understand why Ryder was complaining.

This episode made me think about how many guys fee this way. That men who accuse women of rape are pussies, and I feel that is misinformation. How many rapes committed by women that victimize young boys go unreported? If an eleven year old girl got raped by an seventeen year old boy, they would either call her a slut (Some guys are like that.) or they would be ready to put their hands on the guy who did it. It shouldn’t matter which gender get molested, both boys and, girls are the victims if they get molested.

I have another example on how we lake it lightly when a grown woman is with a teenage boy. There was this hit song that came out in the early 90s. It was called “Just Can’t Handle It”. It was sung by this teen R&B group called “Hi-Five” The first verse described how this 16 year old boy had a crush on an older women and, that happens. Then it got to the second verse and, in the second verse described how he skipped school, and went to her place. Then she started undress in front of him so, that makes him tempted because this 25 year old woman is so fine. (If you live in another country and, you don’t know what it means when you call a person fine. Fine= attractive or sexy). I think this song was a hit for a short time. It played at school dances and, kids sung along to it.But lets be honest if a girl was singing this song about a 25 year old man. Do you think people would be singing along with it. They would have thought the 25 year old man was a creep. Don’t get me wrong, I understand why kids like the song back then because it was catchy and danceable but I don’t think the song would have made it on the charts, I think it would have made it on the news if it was about a 16 year old girl, and a 25 year old man.

The bottom line is that we should stop making man feel ashamed if they are the victims of rape.  We should be more empathetic to all rape victims. I think society teaches that it is ok  for teenage boys to have sex with grown women. They would become man if they do that. Society also tries to teach us  that if you were raped as a little boy, you should feel ashamed. I think that’s what that episode of “Glee” was trying to point out. Society also teaches that if a young woman sleeps with another guy she is a the victim, a gold digger or, a slut. If a girl is raped she is a slut (some guys think that way) or the victim.

If you been raped you are in my prayers. It’s not your fault. If you are a rape survivor you are in my prayer, and I admire you so much for being strong.

To learn more info about rape go to:

http://rainn.org/

If you want to know about that episode of “Glee” go to:

http://rainn.org/news-room/glee-rainn-team-up-for-episode

Double Standards: Slut Shaming.

This is kind of am interesting topic I am choosing to write about. This is kind of uncomfortable for me to write about.

Stop calling girls sluts.

When a guy have sex with a lot of girl, and brag about it. The boys will call him “The man”. He is consider a player. Guys will praise like he’ s a god. If a guy does not have sex he is ashamed of himself. People won’t see him as a man.

With girls it’s another story. If a girl has sex with a lot of guys, people say she’s a slut. Her reputation is ruin. Girls hate her. Guys uses her. People see her as one thing, a sexual object.

I don’t care how promiscuous that person is. You still treat that person like a human being.  They should be treated with dignity. Bullying is unacceptable and, it won’t stop girl from having sex with numerous partners. If a guy chooses not to have sex, we shouldn’t be teasing him either. Why is it anyone business?

The bottom line is we need to stop making people feel ashamed. Don’t tease them. Plus stop calling girls sluts.

There are so much more to women and men than how many people they sleep with. They may be a nice person, probably good at sports, probably love to write etc.

If you are getting bullied, stay strong. They’re  people who love you out there